Chrissy Teigen is opening up about her recent pregnancy loss.
John Legend and Chrissy, who are parents to four-year-old Luna and two-year-old Miles, revealed back in August, that they were expecting their third child.
Chrissy has kept fans updated about her pregnancy journey on social media – from being put on bed rest to the constant bleeding which led to her hospitalization towards the end of September. Sadly, they lost their unborn baby boy, whom they’ve named Jack, due to pregnancy complications.
More than a week since her return to social media, Chrissy went on Twitter Tuesday (October 27) to share a link to an essay she wrote on Medium, where she details their heartbreaking experience of losing their baby in the miscarriage.
“My doctors diagnosed me with partial placenta abruption. I always had placenta problems,” she wrote.
She had been put on bed rest for over a month and she remained hopeful. “I was still seen by doctors at home, silently twisting their negative words into positives, thinking that everything might still turn out okay,” she shared.
However, her situation didn’t improve – the bleeding just got heavier and heavier.
“The fluid around Jack had become very low—he was barely able to float around,” the actress said, recalling, “After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either. We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn’t done anything at all.”
“Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning. I cried a little at first, then went into full blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness. Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness,” she continued.
Chrissy also explains why she felt it was important to document those painful moments.
“I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was. I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time,” she wrote. “But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.”
When Chrissy shared their sad news on social media, some criticized her for taking photos. And she also shared a message for her critics: “I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
She does have one regret though. “I feel bad our grief was so public because I made the joy so public,” she wrote. “I was excited to share our news with the world. Stories leading up to this had been chronicled for all. It’s hard to look at them now. I was so positive it would be OK. I feel bad that I made you all feel bad. I always will.”
She also shared why she wrote the piece in the first place.
“I wrote this because I knew for me I needed to say something before I could move on from this and return back to life, so I truly thank you for allowing me to do so,” she states. “Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky.”
Soon after sharing her experience, Chrissy’s friend, Gabrielle Union showed her support by retweeting the link to Chrissy’s essay and writing, “I heart you @chrissyteigen. Thank you for this, your transparency and all the healing you’ve inspired. We shouldn’t have to suffer in silence and everyone who truly understands is incredibly grateful for this and you, always.”
