Ethan Slater’s ex-wife, Lilly Jay, has opened up about their divorce and the whirlwind of attention it sparked following his relationship with Ariana Grande. The 32-year-old Broadway star, known for his role in Wicked, filed for divorce from Lilly in July 2023, ending their four-year marriage. The former couple welcomed their first child, a son, in August 2022, making the separation all the more difficult.
As news of their split broke, so did reports of Ethan’s new romance with Ariana, adding fuel to an already challenging situation. Lilly, a psychologist, shared her experience in a raw and heartfelt essay for The Cut, revealing how the divorce and its aftermath upended her life and career.
“I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity,” Lilly candidly admitted in her essay.
Lilly reflected on the contrast between her private life as a psychologist and Ethan’s public-facing career as an actor. She recounted her early efforts to maintain boundaries with social media, deleting her Facebook as a teenager.
“My partner was on a different path, in which social media and exposure were not impediments but rather necessities,” she explained. “It was a tenuous balance — my profession, which requires privacy, and his, which is measured in applause — but it worked well while life was unfolding according to our plans.”
However, life took an unexpected turn. Lilly shared how she moved with Ethan and their son to support his career, unaware of the growing distance in their relationship.
Facing the reality of divorce, Lilly spoke about the emotional challenge of letting go of her high school sweetheart while navigating the complexities of coparenting.
“While our partnership has changed, our parenthood has not. Both of us fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided,” she wrote. “As for me, days with my son are sunny.”
But even the success of Ethan’s Wicked role brought a bittersweet tinge to her memories. “Wicked is now associated with the saddest days of my life,” Lilly admitted.
The media frenzy surrounding her personal life had professional repercussions. Lilly revealed a job offer that “dissolved without explanation after yet another tabloid news cycle” and shared how some first-time patients canceled their appointments.
Despite these setbacks, she extended an apology to her patients and drew strength from her journey.
“My entire adult life, I feared that loss of control and postpartum depression would destroy me. One day in London, I looked up and found that they had both arrived. And I am okay. If I can’t be invisible anymore, I may as well introduce myself,” Lilly wrote.
She also offered a poignant takeaway: “Some of what you loved most about your partner was actually your own goodness reflected back to you; it’s yours to keep and carry forward.”
