While juggling a supermodel career, raising a baby, and taking care of other priorities sounds challenging, Gigi Hadid makes it look like a breeze – but she herself admits she’s had some anxiety over becoming a mom while she was pregnant with her daughter Khai.
In her cover story interview for Harper’s Bazaar’s August issue, she revealed she kept two kinds of journals during her pregnancy journey.
“During my pregnancy, I had one journal that I called my good journal and one journal that I called my bad journal,” Gigi shares, explaining, “They weren’t that literal, but one was more for the memories, for Khai.”
And she wants to be open with her daughter about her experiences when the time comes.
“Maybe one day I’ll give her the bad journal just to be real about it,” she continues. “[It has my] anxieties and days where I felt like, ‘Am I good enough to be a mom?’ I didn’t want to feel guilty about feeling those things or writing those things down. I just liked the separation.”
One of Gigi’s many hobbies is journaling – she got into it even before she became a mom. However, it amid the lockdowns, it also expanded to include more artistic endeavors.
“I also have sketch pads where I’ll watercolor-sketch, and sometimes I end up writing there too,” she says, adding, “I write on the back of receipts and keep those in a notebook. I’m not particular about it, and my journals are everywhere around the house. I just pick up whichever one is closest to me and write.”
Gigi spent most of her pregnancy at her mom Yolanda’s Pennsylvania farm – and would also occasionally spend time with her daughter there.
The 26-year-old model and her boyfriend Zayn Malik welcomed their baby girl in September of last year. Now 10 months old, Khai is already a big fan of birds, animals, and the outdoors, according to Gigi.
As for their family dynamic with parents Yolanda and Mohamed, and sister Bella and brother Anwar, her mom has dubbed her the “brain,” and Bella the “heart,” while Anwar is “half and half.”
“My mom is just very Dutch and to the point,” she continues. “And my dad’s a storyteller — a bit goofy, but always connecting it back to, ‘Oh, you’ve heard the old Palestinian saying…'”
So, where does Zayn fit into it?
“At first he was like, ‘How do I get a word in edgewise?’ But now he is very comfortable,” she shares.
“He speaks his mind. When he’s in the middle of a family thing and everyone’s like, ‘Zayn, whose side are you on?’ He’s charming,” she praises. “He’s usually on my mom’s side. So he’s smart in that sense.”
