Rumer Willis, eldest daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, is opening up about her first sexual encounter.
The 32-year-old actress was part of a discussion about sexual consent on Red Table Talk – the episode, which also featured Amber Rose and DeAndre Levy, was shot before the pandemic. In the sneak peek, which dropped earlier this week, Rumer says she lost her virginity to an older man at 18 – but he “didn’t check in” on whether she was ready to be intimate.
“When I lost my virginity, when I was 18, I was more concerned with the shame that I was feeling at not having done it. I was not abused or wasn’t raped… but I didn’t say yes,” Rumer says. “I wasn’t gung-ho about it. But I also didn’t say no.”
“I just let it happen,” she continues. “He was older and took advantage, and didn’t check in. That’s where I feel like the man’s responsibility is. No means no, but what if you can’t say no?”
On Wednesday (October 21), during an appearance on The Talk, Rumer opened up about her complex emotions about the experience even more.
Noting how sex has become “a sort of currency” in today’s culture and social media, she said, “There’s this desire that, oh if someone is interested in me sexually, even if I’m not feeling that way, then that must mean I’m valuable and then seeking out value from those encounters.”
And while “no means no,” she brought up that there are instances where women can’t say no.
“I had a situation where I completely froze, and I’m a very outspoken, loud, like, empowered woman in my everyday life,” she shared. “Then you have moments where then, literally like a deer in headlights, and I didn’t know what to say. And I think that there’s like, a perpetuation, especially with young women, to lead with their sexuality.”
“I try not to live a life with regret by any means, but I do regret the person that I lost my virginity to, because I can never have that moment again, and it’s someone that I don’t think really appreciated or valued me in the way that was right,” she continued. “But now I know, and I hope in having open conversations about it that other people will have more confidence to do that as well.”
