Kim Kardashian gets even more candid about her marriage troubles with Kanye West on Thursday’s (June 10) Keeping Up With The Kardashians finale – as well as some of the things she realized at 40.
In the series’ final episode, Kim sat down with mom Kris Jenner for a heart-to-heart.
Reflecting on the past few years, where Kim and Kanye’s life has been split between California and Wyoming, where Kanye has a ranch, Kim says, “I never thought I was lonely. I always thought, that’s totally fine. I can just have my kids, and my husband moves from state to state, and I’m on this ride with him. And I was OK with that.”
Kim turned 40 in October last year – and her milestone birthday became a turning point for her. “After turning 40 this year, I realized, no. I don’t want a husband that lives in a completely different state. I thought, ‘That’s when we’re getting along the best,’ but then that is sad to me. And that’s not what I want.”
Kris, who also expressed concerned that Kim doesn’t open up about her marital struggles with them, lets her daughter know that she just wants her to be “happy and joyful” adding, “And I think I haven’t seen that in a long time.”
For all her success in life, she admits, “but I don’t have a life to share that with.”
“I want someone that, we have the same shows in common. I want someone that wants to work out with me,” Kim explains.
“It’s the little things,” she adds. “I have all the big things. I have all the extravagant, everything you could possible want, and no one will ever do it like that. And I’m grateful for those experiences, but I think I’m ready for the smaller experiences that I think will mean a lot.”
In the episode, which was filmed months ago, she tells her mom that she wasn’t going to rush into any big decisions – but after “waking up at 40 and realizing I just want total happiness,” she does want to work towards personal fulfillment.
“Obviously, complete bliss is not a full reality, but if I can have it more, a majority of the time, that’s all I wanna do,” she notes. “Wherever that takes me, I just want my pure happiness. That’s what I’m working on, figuring out how to get there.”
Kris showed support for her daughter, praising her, “You’re a very strong girl. And you seem to handle everything very calmly.”
“Calmness is my super power,” Kim agrees.
Kim had previously confided in her sisters about issues in her marriage, telling Khloe and Kourtney, “I honestly can’t do this anymore. Why am I still in this like, place where I’m stuck for years?”
“Like, he goes and moves to a different state, every year, I have to be together so I can raise the kids, you know?,” she continued. “And he’s an amazing dad, he’s done an amazing job. I think he deserves someone that can go support his every move, go follow him all over the place and move to Wyoming — I can’t do that. He should have a wife that supports his every move and travels with him and does everything.”
She also reflected on how her third marriage is panning out. “I feel like a f–king failure, that it’s like, a third f–king marriage. Yeah I feel like a f–king loser. But I can’t even think about that like, I want to be happy,” she said.
Khloe tried to reassure her sister that she can always talk to her about it. But Kim was all, “There’s honestly nothing to talk about. I mean, I won’t live with the fighting and stuff, like, if it was constant.”
Kim filed for divorce from Kanye in February of this year, and Kanye responded to the divorce petition in April. In the documents, both parties cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the divorce and requesting joint legal and physical custody of their four kids.
Recently, Kanye has been sparking dating speculations with supermodel Irina Shayk after the two were spotted vacationing together in France for his 44th birthday on Tuesday (June 8). However, sources say Kim isn’t bothered by her estranged husband’s rumored new romance.
“Kim has heard the rumors about Kanye and Irina Shayk and she doesn’t mind at all,” a source told E! News. “If it doesn’t impact her kids, then she doesn’t mind if Kanye dates.”
