Justin Bieber is opening up about his darkest moments – and how it’s affected him as a new husband when he and Hailey first got married.
In a recent interview with GQ, the “Peaches” singer gets candid about hitting rock bottom at one point in his career – it came to a point that his bodyguards would sneak into his room just to check if he was still alive.
“I just lost control of my vision for my career,” JB continued. “There’s all these opinions. And in this industry, you’ve got people that unfortunately prey on people’s insecurities and use that to their benefit. And so when that happens, obviously that makes you angry.”
“And then you’re this young angry person who had these big dreams, and then the world just jades you and makes you into this person that you don’t want to be,” he went on. “And then you wake up one day and your relationships are f–ked up and you’re unhappy and you have all this success in the world, but you’re just like: ‘Well, what is this worth if I’m still feeling empty inside?’”
“There was a sense of still yearning for more,” he recalled. “It was like I had all this success and it was still like: ‘I’m still sad, and I’m still in pain. And I still have these unresolved issues.’ And I thought all the success was going to make everything good.”
“And so for me, the drugs were a numbing agent to just continue to get through,” he added.
That said, he’s always known he wanted to get married and have a family.
“I just felt like that was my calling. Just to get married and have babies and do that whole thing,” Justin said. As for babies, he said, “Not this second, but we will eventually.”
But while he did find the love of his life in Hailey – and she was a big part in helping him realign his focus – he admits things were pretty tough at first.
“The first year of marriage was really tough because there was a lot going back to the trauma. There was just a lack of trust,” he revealed. “There was all these things that you don’t want to admit to the person that you’re with, because it’s scary. You don’t want to scare them off by saying, ‘I’m scared.’”
Justin and Hailey tied the knot in a New York City courthouse in September of 2018 – just months after they rekindled their romance. A year later that they said “I do” again in front of family and friends.
He credits Hailey and his faith for helping him work through a lot of his issues. And, looking at his marriage now, he says he and Hailey are focusing on “just creating these moments for us as a couple, as a family, that we’re building these memories.”
“And it’s beautiful that we have that to look forward to. Before, I didn’t have that to look forward to in my life,” he added. “My home life was unstable. I didn’t have a significant other. I didn’t have someone to love. I didn’t have someone to pour into.”
