Selena Gomez is baring her soul in her brand new Apple TV+ documentary titled Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me.
The 30-year-old star teamed up with the streamer for the project, and she did not hold back with her revelations.
The documentary, which premiered on November 4, carried some major reveals and bombshells, tackling everything from her lupus and mental health to her relationship with Justin Bieber and more.
Here are some of the biggest revelations from My Mind & Me:
2016’s Revival Tour pushed Selena too hard.
She revealed that this tour, which was subsequently cancelled later on, was pushing her too much. “Sometimes I wake up and I feel like I don’t have it in me… It sucks the life out of me and I don’t want to perform. The pressure is just overwhelming because I want to do the best I can.”
Writing “Lose You To Love Me” about Justin Bieber was a major moment in her life.
She wrote the song, which was her first chart-topper, in 45 minutes. “It’s about more than just a lost love. It’s me learning to choose myself, to choose life. But also hoping that people can find grace and peace in that too. The song is about knowing that you completely lost every part of who you are, just to rediscover yourself again.”
Helping others is her “ultimate dream.”
Selena shared that superstardom is not her biggest dream. “My ultimate dream is that I am able to save people’s lives through something, whether it’s a song, music, or it’s just me speaking about the troubles, trials and tribulations I have been through. I could be a voice for others who maybe don’t know what’s going on or what they are feeling.”
She has fears of being related to Justin for the rest of her career.
“I’m like, when am I going to just be good enough by myself? When am I going to be good enough – just me by myself, not needing anybody to be associated with?”
Friends were very concerned for her during her low points.
Her former assistant Theresa Marie Mingus said she feared for Selena during a low point: “At one point she’s like, ‘I don’t want to be alive right now, I don’t want to live.’ It’s one of those moments where you look in her eyes and there’s nothing there. It was just pitch-black and it’s so scary.”
Her friend Raquelle Stevens shared Selena was hearing voices, leading to “some kind of psychotic break. If anyone saw what I saw and the state she was in at the mental hospital, they wouldn’t have recognized her at all.”
Her mom learned from TMZ that she was struggling.
When Selena sought treatment for her mental health back in 2016, her mom Mandy Teeny found out from TMZ: “They called me and wanted to know what my daughter was doing in the hospital. She didn’t want anything to do with me and I was scared she was going to die. It’s a miracle she got out but there’s always that fear that it’s going to happen again.”
She suffered a lupus flare two years ago, in 2020.
“In the morning when I wake up, I immediately start crying because it just hurts, like, everything.”
She did not want to enter a treatment facility following the cancellation of her Revival Tour:
“I’ll be honest, I didn’t eat to go to a mental hospital, but I didn’t want to be trapped in myself, in my mind anymore. I thought my life was over. I thought this is how I’m going to be forever.”
She had a childhood crush on her fellow Disney stars Dylan and Cole Sprouse.
She has been tempted to quit the industry.
“I think my past and my mistakes, that’s what drives me into depression. My whole, since I was a kid, I’ve been working, and the only thing I want is, like, a family. I just wanna be, like, a mom … I just wanna quit sometimes so I can be happy and be normal like everybody else…. It’s just, like, I want you to know that I feel like God has given me this platform not to quit. I don’t wanna be super famous. I don’t wanna be all that stuff. But I do know that if I’m here, I wanna use that for good.”
She shared what she learned after her mental health struggles.
“When you’re struggling with your mental health, the essential part of it is knowing what to do and recognizing that. It’s something that I’m not ashamed of. I had to relearn things. I completely fell out of my mind. It was like, ‘Hey you’re not a bad person, you’re not a gross person, you’re not any of this. But you’re going to have to deal with this.’”
She spoke about her bipolar diagnosis and finding peace inside herself.
“I found having a relationship with bipolar and myself, it’s going to be there. I’m just making it my friend now. I think I needed to go through that to be who I am and I am going to keep going through it, but I’m really happy. I’m at peace. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m competent. I’m full of doubt. I’m a work in progress. I am enough. I am Selena.”
