Allison Mack — once known worldwide as Chloe Sullivan on the hit series Smallville — has spent years in the public eye for a very different reason: her involvement in the NXIVM cult, led by Keith Raniere. Arrested in 2018 and later sentenced to three years in federal prison after pleading guilty to racketeering and conspiracy charges, Mack became one of the most infamous figures connected to the organization. Now, two years after her 2023 release, she’s speaking candidly in a rare appearance on former co-star Michael Rosenbaum’s Inside of You podcast.
During the emotional and introspective interview, Mack opened up about her experience inside the organization, the power dynamics at play, her time in prison, and the long, messy process of understanding — and taking responsibility for — her actions.
Reflecting on the intoxicating pull of influence within NXIVM, she admitted she hadn’t sought power, but she didn’t deny that it affected her:
“I wasn’t, like, seeking power, but I won’t lie and say that power didn’t feel good. […] You know, when you’re in house arrest for three-and-a-half years, and then you’re in prison for two years, you spend a lot of time thinking about what happened, and how you got to where you are, and what you did. […] I yo-yo-ed back and forth between, ‘I’m the worst human being on the planet. I’m all these awful things. I am horrible.’ You know, ‘devastated.’ And then, I would go back and I’d be like, ‘Well, no, I’m also, like… I had good intentions here, and I wanted to do this here.’ And I’ll look at my journals, and be, like, ‘I was thinking this here, so I don’t think I’m horrible.’”
Through years of introspection, Mack says she finally accepted that she is a complicated human being:
“[It] was this dance back and forth of accountability and justification, and confusion, until finally, you settle into, ‘Okay, I’m a human being, who has dark and light. I got caught up in a really messed up situation with really powerful people who had incredible ways of manipulating people over long periods of time.’ And, ‘What did I do that I need to sit with in my conscience for the rest of my life so I don’t do it again? And what did I do, that I can forgive myself for?’ And then, with that knowledge, you move ahead, hopefully with wisdom, and try and do better on the other side.”
Mack also spoke about how slowly the environment inside NXIVM became abusive — a gradual shift she now recognizes as classic grooming:
“I mean, my God, I was involved for 12 years. And stuff didn’t start to get really disfunctional and illegal until, like, the eighth or ninth year that I was involved. So, it was like a very stereotypical—now that I look back on it—grooming progress that happened over a period of time. […] It was a different form of an abusive relationship, where you make a decision to justify something that is a big deal at the time, but you’re like, ‘Oh, okay, I can figure out how to make this okay in my head.’ And then, that becomes okay and normal. And so then, the next thing that happens that’s extreme, you justify and figure out how to make it okay and normal, and then all of a sudden you’re doing something totally different than what you ever expected yourself to do. But it happened incrementally, over time, and you don’t notice it.”
One of her deepest regrets involves the harm she caused others:
“[One] of the things I definitely contend with on a regular basis is, like, ‘How did I objectify people to the point where I thought it was okay to take away their autonomy?’ Like, how did I get to a point where that was something that I thought was okay? And how did I get to a point where I thought it was okay to feel in power of people?’”
She went on to discuss her struggles with the idea of being labeled “good” or “bad”:
“I have a really hard time with the idea of good people and bad people.”
Talking about her probation rules, Mack detailed the level of monitoring she’s under, including device tracking and limitations on travel. Despite this, she says she is committed to rehabilitation and hopeful for her future.
The interview also revealed the emotional toll of the NXIVM fallout, including moments of suicidal ideation both in Mexico and later while navigating the media storm at home. She described one moment in Mexico:
“I had moments of suicidal ideation. I had one moment where I was hiding in Mexico, when Keith had first gotten [arrested]. […] And I was staying in a penthouse apartment by myself for two weeks, and I didn’t know what was happening. And I went out on the balcony and thought, ‘I could jump, and this could be over.’”
But ultimately, her desire to see what came next — and not devastate her mother — kept her from acting on those thoughts.
Near the end of the conversation, Rosenbaum asked whether Mack believed she was brainwashed. Her answer was simple: yes. She also clarified that the infamous branding ritual was not her idea, despite once saying otherwise:
“No. I took credit for it [Laughs] in the New York Times article. […] No, it was not my idea. No, it is not my initials. I will take credit for the things that I actually did do, and I did not do those things.”
Now, Mack is focused on owning her past, understanding her role, and figuring out how to move forward — still acknowledging the harm, but rejecting the idea that it defines her entire identity:
“[I] know that I have done really bad things, and I don’t believe I’m a bad person.”
