Lady Gaga is pulling back the curtain on one of the most intense, transformative periods of her life — and she’s not sugarcoating a single part of it.
In a new Rolling Stone cover story, the 39-year-old Mayhem singer reflects on the emotional, mental, and physical toll she was under during the filming of 2018’s A Star Is Born. The movie may have launched her into a new era of Hollywood acclaim, but behind the scenes, Gaga was navigating a private battle few knew about.
“I did A Star Is Born on lithium,” she revealed. Filming for the movie, which starred her opposite Bradley Cooper, took place between April and June 2017 — a time when Gaga says she was trying to simply keep herself afloat.
Lithium, often prescribed to treat conditions like bipolar disorder, mania, hypomania, schizophrenia, and certain types of severe depression, became part of Gaga’s reality during a period where she was juggling fame, pressure, and deeply personal struggles. She didn’t delve into her exact diagnosis, but she made one thing clear: she was fighting hard to stay in control.
Once filming wrapped and she hit the road for her Joanne World Tour, things reached a breaking point. Gaga described what came next as a full psychotic break — an experience she now looks back on with clarity, gratitude, and disbelief at how far she’s come.
“There was one day that my sister said to me, ‘I don’t see my sister anymore,’” Gaga told Rolling Stone. That moment snapped something into focus for her, and soon after, she canceled the remaining JoAnne World Tour dates. The final 10 shows were officially scrapped due to what she then described as chronic pain — but now she’s sharing the deeper truth.
“And I canceled the tour. There was one day I went to the hospital for psychiatric care. I needed to take a break. I couldn’t do anything … I completely crashed. It was really scary. There was a time where I didn’t think I could get better.… I feel really lucky to be alive. I know that might sound dramatic, but we know how this can go.”
During this period, Gaga says she almost lost her sense of self entirely. Fame, pressure, expectation, trauma — everything collided at once. But she also singles out one person as a significant anchor in her healing: her fiancé, Michael Polansky.
“Being in love with someone that cares about the real me made a very big difference…how do you learn how to be yourself with someone when you don’t know how to be yourself with anyone?” she shared.
Now, years later and on the other side of that terrifying chapter, Gaga says she feels grounded, present, and whole in a way she once feared she never would again. She describes herself as “a healthy, whole person,” and admits the journey back to that version of herself was long, messy, and full of moments she didn’t think she’d survive.
She also reflected on creating her 2025 album Mayhem, which she says emerged from that process of rebuilding.
“It was months and months and months of rediscovering everything that I’d lost. And I honestly think that’s why it’s called Mayhem. Because what it took to get it back was crazy.”
Touring again brought new challenges — not because she wasn’t ready, but because she was learning to perform without relying on adrenaline and chaos, two things she once associated with feeling alive.
“I’m not an adrenaline junkie anymore…I used to love that feeling,” she said of the Mayhem Ball Tour. “I see all the fans, and I’m in this big dress, and the music is so loud and it’s very dramatic … and for 90 seconds, I have to talk myself out of a panic attack.”
Even songs she’s performed countless times can trigger her anxiety. “‘I’m panicking a little bit during ‘Bloody Mary,’” she admitted, adding that she relies on discipline and routine to get through it.
“The rehearsal of self saves me. Every cell in my body goes, ‘You know what to do.’”
With her newest chapter underway, Gaga is choosing honesty, calm, and authenticity — redefining what strength looks like on her own terms.
