Years after the end of her marriage to Daniel Gillies, Rachael Leigh Cook is looking back with a level of honesty that feels deeply personal — and notably self-reflective.
Cook and Gillies married in 2004 before separating in 2019 after nearly 15 years together. The former couple share two children together and spent much of their relationship navigating careers in Hollywood while building a family life away from constant public attention.
Now, years after their split, Cook is opening up about the dynamics she believes contributed to the relationship ending.
Appearing on the I Love You So Much Podcast (ILYSM), the actress spoke candidly about what she called the biggest thing she can personally take accountability for.
“I think I’ve always just been like a little bit hyper independent, just having to look after myself for so long, just you know, being a kid in the industry and being on my own and being financially independent and all this stuff. Like it would be really easy, I think if you were Daniel, to feel like I didn’t really need him that much. I think that I built and lived out my life very much that way. I had a strong network of friends. I have my family here.”
She continued:
“And Daniel really likes to be able to be there, step up, do the thing. You know, he’s really good at that.”
Cook explained that in retrospect, she believes she may not have created enough space for Gillies to show that side of himself.
“In that sense, aside from being good at having a common enemy with me when it was time, which he kills at, and then in the raising of our children, of course, he’s also awesome, but I don’t think that I, sort of, gave him an ability to be able to execute on something that’s a major skill that he has. How much can you love on someone who’s, like, ‘We’re here for the good times, I don’t feel like fighting with you.’ I’m also, like, light touch avoidant, probably.”
Rather than framing the end of the marriage around blame, Cook emphasized differences in personality and compatibility.
“I thought that that was cool, and my life has been a lot of pendulum swings between, like, being involved with people who embodied different traits in that way.”
She also shared lessons learned from dating after divorce and admitted that the experience eventually changed her perspective.
“I had a good little bit of lessons with regret. I was feeling really down on dating before I met my now-boyfriend.”
“Instead of feeling mad at all the sort of, rough dates, or brief dating experiences that I had had, I wrote out a list of everything I learned from every single person I went on a date with or was in a short relationship with.”
“And I was like, ‘I learned so much stuff!’ I learned so many things about what I do and don’t want, but also just like accidental bits of knowledge that they taught me. I’m like, ‘I wouldn’t have learned any of these things.’”
For Cook, it appears the conversation is less about revisiting heartbreak and more about recognizing growth.
